The Truth

I'm FAT. There, got it out of the way. I've said it, acknowleged it, there's no mistake about whether I know this or not...I've put it out there and now the world knows. Now that I've acknowledged I'm fat, I am going to do something about it. I am going to lose 40 to 45kgs (88 to 100 lbs), and my goal for 2007 is to lose at least 30kg (66 lbs).

I know I'm never going to be skinny...I was never made that way...my plan is to end up with a 'Nigella-esque' body (you know, sexy curves, boobs, hips, etc) at the end of this journey. I know the 'physical ideal' is not the answer to life's happiness, but damn it, it'll make life a hell of a lot easier. For one, boys might notice me...strangers won't tell me to lose weight...eating in public won't be humiliating...and school kids won't snigger...and when people talk to my boobs I know it'll be because they look damn hot, not just massive.

Now, I should make it clear right now I'm not some bitter and twisted 'the-world-hates-me' overweight woman but, from time to time, I do have to admit a certain level of frustration...like the all-knowing patronising comments from thin family and friends (god forbid if I dared point out any fault of theirs) or the look from people if they think I'm going to sit next to them on a train, bus or plane (I'm sure I'd get more respect if I walked down the aisle farting!!!).

But, I'm not doing this just for the reasons I've mentioned above. Mostly, I want to be fit and healthy. I want to be able to run around with my niece and nephews instead of running out of breath. I want to fall in love. I want to be able to have the choice of having a baby. I want to live till I'm 100. I want to be adventerous and travel to 'off the beaten track' places...go kayaking and hiking and sailing. I want to be spontaneous. I want to be known for something other than being the happy fat chick.

This blog isn't going to be all about how fat I am, or how much weight I'm losing. Of course, that'll be a part...but I also want this to be about discovering the world I live in. So, this is my journey of self-discovery, acceptance and understanding who I truly am. I've been on this planet for nearly 36 years but for most of that time I've been a semi-comatose passenger with a few very short frantic bursts at the driver's seat. Two thousand and seven is the year I've decided to sit up and take notice. I need to touch, smell, taste, see, hear and experience the world. I need to create. I need to know what makes me who I am. I need to know what makes me tick.

This will be a busy year for me. I work full-time, I am studying, I'm going to lose weight and get fit, and I am going to discover my world. I look forward to sharing this with you and perhaps we can have share some experiences together.

Here's to the emergence of the voluptous goddess within!
Annie xxx